Right now I have my past posted...more to follow...stay tuned

I'm from a small USA town of 1100 people. 

I grew up on a farm outside of Camp Point, Illinois where I had the freedom to play in 200 acres of timber riding my horse and my 2 dogs quickly trailing behind us.

My imagination was gigantic as a child.

My hair was dark and down to my waist.  My Mom would braid it and I called myself "Rainwater".  My uncles would tease me and I would get mad at them if they didn't call me by my name.

I would race around the timber on my 17 1/2 hand high pinto, Scout, and or course I was a Native American Indian riding bareback.

I was an incredible bareback rider, but I scared my Mom ongoingly.

I really don't know how she did it, but my Mom had a great trust in me to be on my own since I was 5 years old.  We had a check-in system where she would yell my name towards the timber and I would answer back to let her know I was okay.

If I wasn't in the timber I would be walking around the pond catching big green bullfrogs, jumping out of the hayloft onto a bed of straw or riding the calves like I was in a rodeo.

My Dad was a farmer when I was young...then he worked for a local plumber...then he became a salesman...always a laborer.

My Dad had several challenges in life which influenced me for several years...he really liked to gamble by playing cards, he liked alcohol and he liked many women.  Due to everything he liked to do he was rarely at home.

The other thing he didn't do well with is knowing that it wasn't okay to push others around and be physical with them...that only included my Mom, but that was plenty.

Even though I don't remember him being there much I do treasure the times that I did spend with him...helping him work the fields, milk the cows, bale hay, take the grain to the elevator, getting the garden ready to plant, going to the county and state fairs, sharing time with my Mom's family of 18 kids (and their families)...and the times he teased me...to this day I love to be teased lovingly.

The two years before Dad died were especially memorable because I was able to connect with him in a brand new way.

He lived in Florida with my Step-Mom and he took me to every major theme park and beach you can imagine: DisneyWorld, Sea World, Clown World (when it was open), Busch Gardens...it was the time I had always wanted to spend with my Daddy...I finally got it.

The timing of his death wasn't so great.  Right after we connected he called me on Father's Day to tell me he was terminally ill  with a inoperable cancerous cerebellar brain tumor.  It was a difficult moment...and he died 1 year later.

I feel so fortunate that I had the pleasure to connect with him before he died.

I remember so many good things about growing up...Mom would cook and bake incredible foods...she canned jars and jars of food out of the garden and our freezer was full of berries and fresh meat that we had butchered locally.

Our farm was rich with animals...dairy cows, beef cows, pigs, sheep and an occasional chicken and goat.

We would make fudge or pop popcorn every Saturday night and I would watch my Mom and sister dance to Lawrence Welk in the living room.

My Mom made all of our clothes and she worked so hard.  She would play an occasional board game with me, but most of the time she was cooking, cleaning, washing or working on the farm.

I developed quite an attitude that I had to get over along the way as a result of what I watched her do...and not do.

I always did well in school, but didn't have any plans of going to a university...especially after I met my highschool sweetheart.

I only knew what I saw in my family.  Women would graduate from high school, find someone to marry, have kids and stay living around our small town USA.

I love it when I see a mother who is in that role and they do it well...my aunts have been incredible women...I never did really fit that mold, but I tried to fit it for several years.

Many things changed at age 16...Mom, Dad, my sister, Kay, and I moved into the town of Camp Point, I started dating my high school sweetheart and my insecurities about life, relationships, friends and myself came up all over the place.

I gained 15 pounds which I'm sure had to do with my challenges and I was getting really tired of my Mom and Dad's fights with each other...I wanted a life different than theirs.

Ultimately, after my boyfriend graduated from high school we got married.  Looking back, getting married was my ticket to move away from my troubles with Mom and Dad.

I was married for 6 years and then divorced.  Who we were when we met and who we were when we divorced was totally different.  We grew in such different directions...totally different from each other.

I wanted to see the world and I was discovering who I really was...all of my self expression was coming out...my leadership...ready to "do something with my life"...whatever that was.

My husband at that time was happy staying right where he was and spending every weekend at the local tavern with all of his friends.

I continued to discover who I was while being in the Air Force.  I was active duty for 4 years and then I transferred to the Colorado Air National Guard and the Air Reserves for a total of 13 1/2 years of duty.

I was an electronic technician (PMEL Tech) while on active duty and then I was in a human relations position with the Air Guard and Reserves.

One of my favorite moments was traveling all over the U.S. teaching leadership and management courses to enlisted personnel.  I love being in front of people...teaching...entertaining...

The Air Force is a story in and of itself...I'm going to fast forward to my most recent past.

I've been in several long term relationships since, but I have had a pattern of choosing men who find another woman while they are still with me...I wonder where I learned that from that I would attract that particular relationship?

Men asked me to marry them several times, but it never was quite right for me...bad timing...too soon...too young (him)...one relationship ending when I made my choice to go to chiropractic school rather than to get married and have children with him.

It was really the best choice for both of us...it just didn't feel very good in the moment.

He would not have been a good match for me..he had a habit of drinking everyday...there was another one of those patterns again.

I ultimately went to college for the first time at age 32...they called me a "nontraditional aged student".  I would ride my bike back and forth and across campus...I was in great shape.

My younger classmates had a difficult time relating to me being "so old".  They would say they never had an "older friend" before...they made me laugh.

I graduated from chiropractic school in August, 1993, at age 40.  I wanted to quit multiple times, but I kept going...and I'm glad I did.

I've been practicing chiropractic in the Seattle area since then and I am about to make a major change in my life very soon...selling my chiropractic practice and moving on to new ventures.

I will save that for the next chapter